


The fear if falling apart

by amypond633



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 11x17, 11x17 spoilers, Awsome brother sam, Brotherly Bonding, Brotherly Love, Good Brother Sam Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Protective Sam Winchester, Scared Dean Winchester, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-01
Updated: 2016-04-01
Packaged: 2018-05-30 10:59:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6421114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amypond633/pseuds/amypond633
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam wakes up to dean having a nightmare.</p>
<p>Title taken from this is gospel by panic! At the disco</p>
            </blockquote>





	The fear if falling apart

San laid in bed, he was in his room, under his blankets, and in his home. The thought of the bunker being home was still a little strange to him, especially after the incident with lucifer. But that wasn't what her was laying in bed thinking about at 1:40 am.

He was thinking about the look in Deans eyes a few days ago. It was right after the case with the werewolfs, right after Sam had almost died. And he had asked Dean what he did when he thought Sam was dead. Dean said he knew Sam was alive, but Sam knew differently. 

Sam knew his brother better than anyone else, knew when he was lying. He also knew that the only reason Dean would leave Sam alone bleeding in a cabin in Idaho was if he thought Sam was dead and didn't have another choice. The look in Deans eyes told Sam right away that something had happened. Dean had done some thing incredibly stupid in his emotional and broken state.

As sam thought about what Dean had done he began to wonder if he even what'd to know.

Sam's thoughts where cut of by a scream down the hall. It was loud and broken and sound like Dean. Sam was out of bed and down the hall before he really knew what was happening. He struggled with the door in his panicked state, before finaly gaining entrance to his brothers room.

Dean lay on his bed sobbing and screaming for Sam. He twisted and writhed under the sheets, pleading with some unseen being. Pleading for sam.

"NO! NOT SAM! SAAAAMMMM!" Dean continued screaming as Sam rushed to his side.

"Dean! Calm down it's okay, I'm okay. You need to wake up." 

Sam gently shook his brothers shoulders, try not to hurt either of them in the process. Both were still fairly banged up and not done healing. But Sam needed to wake his brother.

"Dean?" Sam tried again "Dean wake up."

Dean calmed down slightly, stopped shaking, and was mumbling incoherently instead if screaming.

Sam ran his had up and down Deans arm, gently calling out to his sleeping brother.

Dean woke up slowly, staying in between the fiction of his mind and reality for a minuet or two. It was like the dream wasn't quite ready to let him go. Wanted him to stay a little longer to hear the terrible screams of his dieing little brother.

When Dean opened his eyes the first thing he saw was Sam. His eyes where wild and scared and he called Deans name just like in his dream, except there was no blood. No werewolfs with guns. No hospital filled with pills waiting for him. Just a scared little brother.

"Sammy?" Dean asked. He glanced over at his clock. 2:15 "Why are you up?" 

Sam smiled "I couldn't sleep. And I heard you having a nightmare." His voice was soft but scared, like he was trying to be as gentle as he could with Dean.

"You should be in bed." Dean mummbled, Turing away from Sam to stand up.

"Dean, wait." Sam grabbed his arm. "What was it?"

Dean refused to look at Sam, he didn't want him to see the pain, or hear it.

"Dean please! I want to help." 

Dean turned back twords Sam slowly, keeping his eyes on the bed.

"You died."

"Dean,"

"You died and I couldn't do anything. I just left you Sam. How could I do that to you?" Dean looked at Sam. "How could I abandon you in that cabin, how could I leave you alone? I should have been able to tell that you where only in shock, I should have known. But instead I left and went to a hospital, and they tried to bandage me up, but it should have been you Sammy it should have been you! And when I was in the hospital and I thought you were dead did it again. I left you alone twice in one day Sammy. Twice!"

"Hey, shhh. Dean calm down." Deans voice had gotten more and more panicy as he talk. "It's okay." 

Dean reached out for his little brother and Sam pulled him into a hug. Squeezing him tightly not caring I'd it hurt his gut. 

They stayed like that for who knows how long until dean stopped shaking. Then Sam pulled back.

"Dean?" He asked quietly.

Dean hmed.

"Dean I need to know what you did in the hospital."

"Sammy please,"

"Dean I have to know."

Dean looked up at Sam. "Promise you won't get mad?"

Sam smiled "promise."

"Well," Dean sighed. "I figured I had to get you back, and after all I know about that reaper chick I figured she'd be the one to talk to. So.."

"Dean?"

"The hospital, has so many different kind of pills I figured one of them would take me out enough to see a reaper but the doctors could revive me."

"What did you take?" 

"No idea, but I probably took twenty. At least."

Dean looked into Sam's eyes, knowing what he was going to find. A scared, sad, baby brother looked back at him. It killed Dean that he was the reason Sam had that look in his eyes. It was his fault.

"I'm sorry Sammy." Dean whispered before braking down.

He fell into Sam once again and cried. Because he was tired, and angry. Because he had hurt Sam, and almost let him completely alone. And because all this time Sam was quiet, he didn't yell, never got mad. Just listened to Dean and held him up.

After a while Sam scooted them down on the bed so the we're no longer sitting, and pulled the blankets over them. Soon they both fell asleep, wrapped in each other and forgetting about the world around them.


End file.
